The shores of Crete aren’t short of claims to mythic status – birthplace of gods, site of ancient civilisations… You would’ve thought the island’s sublime scenery and Unesco-recognised culinary heritage would have tempted Daedalus and Icarus to stick around.
And not to ruffle any more feathers, but surely if they’d got their hands on a handy guide to the island’s best beaches, they’d have happily stayed put. Learn from their mistake and make your Cretan getaway more than a flying visit with our list of luxury hotels worth falling for…
NUMO IERAPETRA BEACH RESORT
Artemis – goddess of the wilderness, among a sizeable CV of other epithets – has been a big deal in Crete since the Minoan days. A glance around Numo Ierapetra Beach Resort, on the island’s quieter southern coast, and it’s not hard to see her feeling at home here.
Sultry interiors match their palette to the hotel’s volcanic sands, tamarisk and olive trees; beyond, the mountains make a cinematic backdrop.
Two Cretan restaurants put the pastoral setting to splendid use, each working near exclusively with traditional, locally sourced ingredients. Days here are spent idly slipping between the sea-facing pool and striking grey-sand beach, with the odd interlude at the spa to indulge your inner deity. Come evening, things are livened up by craft cocktails and DJs spinning deep house by the beach.
But with pretty villages, mountain tavernas and traditional coffee houses in easy reach along the coast, it might be worth making time in your schedule to mingle with the mortals after all…
CRETAN MALIA PARK
These days, Malia might be known as Crete’s party capital, but in centuries past it was the island’s kitchen garden. Family-friendly stay Cretan Malia Park throws things back to the city’s green-fingered past with lush Mediterranean gardens and three restaurants making ambrosial use of the hotel’s home-grown produce.
Horticulturalists of all ages can get hands-on with cooking classes with the head chef (pick your own ingredients, of course) or workshops led by the resident gardener.
But if you’d rather leave all that to the experts, it’s perfectly possible to appreciate your surroundings from a mani-preserving distance. The river-like pool snakes through the greenery, with secluded lagoons and little Smith-safe paddling spots.
At the spa, opt for a massage out among the pines, enriched with local sea salt and olive oil. Or take the toes-in-the-sand approach on the private beach; after a splash in the sun-warmed Aegean and a locally brewed beer or three, you’ll be feeling at one with nature in no time.
MINOS BEACH ART HOTEL
If you’re looking to minimise your bed to beach distance, you won’t do better than Minos Beach Art Hotel. This retro rulebreaker was built back in the Sixties, before regulations came in requiring accommodation to be set back a certain distance from the shore, so the rooms are right by the water along two kilometres of private coast. Some even have private pontoons, so that’s your sneaky midnight dip sorted.
The hotel has plenty more tricks up its sleeve to lead you astray – private sunset dinners on the water, spa treatments rich with pomegranate and olive oil, late-night bonfires and languid DJ-spun beats. But there’s depth to this boutique beatnik, too; specifically, an art collection, a 200 label-strong wine cellar and three restaurants, including a sea-facing fine dining spot.
And before strait-laced readers start to fret, this rebel has taken up its community and environment as its cause, using entirely Greek-grown produce, ensuring energy is used efficiently and working regularly with local charities.
AMIRANDES
It’s news to no one that Crete’s buzzy and beach-blessed north coast is a holiday hotspot, but few resorts do it in finer or more full-works style than Amirandes, where sleek, minimalist design meets a maximalist approach to summer-hols spoiling.
Beaches are, understandably, a serious business here – there are three, all Blue Flag certified, with a watersports section and a dedicated sunbathing stretch, complete with romantic canopied daybeds. There’s a lagoon, too, lantern-lit and flanked by a laidback cocktail lounge. Throw in three pools and water babies won’t know where to start.
Several days could be spent just doing justice to the globetrotting septet of restaurants. Any lingering refrains of ‘I’m bored’ from the little Smiths will be cut off at the pass by the 24-hour concierge. Have you hit the golf club yet? Headed out on a boat safari? How about horse-riding or a tour of the hotel’s farm?
And while you’re all essential oiled up in the Ayurvedic spa, the kids’ club can take the reins, with activities from scuba diving to treading the boards in an actual amphitheatre.
DOMES NORUZ CHANIA
Sitting pretty on the sands of Crete’s most charming city, Domes Noruz Chania is a romantic adults-only stay that takes its wingman duties seriously. Here, the mood-setting starts at sunrise – there’s an MP3 player in every room, ready loaded with music specially chosen to soundtrack different phases of the day. Each room has a private pool or Jacuzzi, too, so leaving the love nest is entirely optional.
Allow yourself to be seduced by the private beach, though, and you’ll find the scene set for a superior canoodle – the golden sands, come-hither waves and super-size bean bags made for snuggling see to that. Steps from the shore, a swoon-inducing dinner of fresh-caught seafood and sunset views awaits.
For the final flourish – the hotel equivalent of the yawn, stretch, and arm around their shoulder – there’s an Elemis spa, two Aegean-facing pools and a swim-up bar with a resident master mixologist.
Continue your odyssey with our complete collection of Crete hotels
Amy Martin is a writer, actor and travel buff, based between London and Cornwall. When she’s not lurking around a theatre or scribbling in a notebook on the Penzance to Paddington line, you’ll find her at the cinema, on a long coastal walk, or watching Pride and Prejudice (1995 or 2005 is fine).