Top Table
Try to sit close to the bandstand (crafted from the original marble reception desk) in the lobby – music plays every day from 4pm. And, if you can access the members-only roof terrace, the view (from St Paul’s to the Shard) is captivating.
Dress Code
This is no finance-bro fashion show, since casual looks keep the creatives happy; however, with all the fanciness, you might still want to dress as if you’re about to ask for a loan.
Hotel restaurant
Sure, sure, the Bank of England next door has 400,000 gold bars in its vaults; but we don’t measure wealth in money, no, we measure it in food. And, by this metric, the Ned is high net worth, with eight eateries of different disciplines. So, don something stretchy and start in the lobby, an overwhelming space of marble, walnut-wood teller desks, colossal African verdite pillars and soaring arched windows housing an agora-style mix of dining spaces. Cecconi’s is the Soho House group’s signature Italian, where meals can run long on cicchetti, carpaccios and tartares, pizzettes, pastas and mains such as lamb cutlets in caponata and rib-eye in Barolo wine sauce. Sunday ‘feast’ days serve all the above buffet-style, plus traditional roast fixings, lobster and oysters.
Millie’s Lounge has a Brit accent, with ‘shellfish’ and ‘grill’ sections to its menu, plus twice-baked Lancashire Bomb soufflé, shepherd’s pie, Hampshire pork chop with sage and apple sauce, and other comforting eats. Electric Bar & Diner crosses the pond for devilled eggs, hotdogs and cheeseburgers, pastrami cheese fries and shakes; while Malibu Kitchen embraces Cali’s healthful coastal flavours: fried sprouts with nuoc cham and pomegranate molasses; hamachi crudo with yuzu, dragonfruit, tamari and ginger.
Kaia is Asian-Pacific with yakitori, dumpings, poke bowls, kaiseki menus and tempting robata grills; and Lutyens Grill is the most elevated, set in the wood-panelled former bank manager’s office, where there’s lobster and Longhorn, Hereford or wagyu steaks and gueridon service. On the lower level, the Parlour offers dinner and a show, with decadent dishes (chicken Kiev, lobster thermidor, rose veal) alongside live jazz and cabaret. And, if you’re lucky enough to hold a membership card, Ned’s Club Upstairs is a penthouse joint festooned with greenery and privy to panoramic views, plus the roof pulls back for alfresco dining in summer.
Hotel bar
After the gorging is done, it’s time to get very merry, and with five bars it’s easily done. In the lobby, there’s the Nickel Bar, a casual catch-up space with cushioned banquettes; cocktails such as the namesake Nickel (Woodford rye, apricot brandy and maple) or the Yen (Nikka whisky, chartreuse, sweet ginger and peach) keep conversations flowing. On the lower level there’s the Long Bar and Parlour. The former is ideal for apéritifs and digestifs. It’s the only space where part of the Grade I-listed building could be demolished – a string of private consultation rooms were knocked into one long intimate space dubbed the Kennels. The latter is a sultry and sumptuous, low-lit spot, with colourful velvets and parquet flooring, where live jazz and saucy cabaret plays out on the stage.
The Library Bar, open to hotel guests and members, is a hush-hush curtained-off space, set aside from the bustle of the ground floor. Behind thick vault doors is Ned’s Club Downtsairs, where you’ll need to brandish your membership card for access to the Vault, where the hotel keeps some of its most valuable assets: the two-metre-wide mechanised door at the entrance, a sparkling hall of safety deposit boxes, a metal-lined club space.
Last orders
Closing times vary, with the earliest being at 10pm, and some spaces enigmatically open ‘till late’. Or, as we were told, ‘till the fun stops’.
Room service
If the lobby is a bit of a sensory overload (we got lost in the first five minutes of entering), there’s in-room dining round the clock.