Schloss Roxburghe

A Schloss? 

Yes.

In Scotland?

Yes.

I thought you said we were going to Scotland?

We are.

How are we staying in a Schloss then?

This is pretty much how our adventure started, but soon, despite this seemingly impossible hurdle in our communication and then relationship, I was able to concede that we were indeed going on holiday in Scotland as intended and not Germany.

Interestingly, though perhaps only for me, as Mrs Smith had moved onto something else some time ago, my research revealed that the hotel had formerly been owned by the Duke of Roxburghe, until its sale in 2018 to a German hotel group, hence the ‘Schloss’. This sparkling piece of knowledge demanded an audience and as I switched to broadcast, my eyes flitted around the room for a vessel in which to pour this new information. The room was empty, save for Bob the dog, who was staring at me fixedly. Yes, he was waiting for his lunch but he also seemed to be hanging onto every word, for this hotel was ‘dog-friendly’, even ‘dog-encouraged’.

Schloss Roxburghe is in the Scottish Borders, near the little historic towns of Kelso and Melrose. We elected to take a road trip, driving all the way up from Cornwall, breaking our journey to stay in the Cotswolds and York, exploring National Trust properties and visiting family on the way. After a lengthy journey across England, there were two indications that we had crossed into Scotland. The first being the clear signage and the second the soundtrack of the hit television series Outlander, blasted at me by my co-pilot, Mrs Smith. Co-pilot did seem to be a bit of a promotion for a passenger who had been asleep most of the time. Yet, Bear McCreary’s score for Outlander’s season one is absolutely sensational and carving our way through the far-reaching and rolling green hills of Scottish countryside was unforgettable.

Drawing up to Schloss Roxburghe, we were met by Max, the Guest Relations Manager. As his title might suggest, this man was incredibly warm, kind and welcoming. While young in years, Max is certainly destined for greatness, something that we reflected on while he burnt on ahead in his golf buggy, leading the way to the new cottages where we were staying in the hotel grounds. This was the perfect set up for Bob, for just outside were beautiful woods for him to frolic in and as he sprang from the car he gave this new garden his customary seal of approval, slithering through the grass on his belly like a hairy red slug.

Soon however, it was time for a massage in the hotel’s spa, a very rare treat indeed and one which was sorely needed after 500 miles in the car. We hobbled over there, each feeling like a sack of twisted knots and sharp rocks, and after all of the right prodding, we were almost decanted out of there, a happy puddle of our former selves. This, however, was what I believe to be the first contributing factor to a long series of losses to Mrs Smith at chess that weekend. The second was our initiation into Bar 1745, Schloss Roxburghe’s resplendent whisky bar, named to commemorate the year Bonnie Prince Charlie stayed at the historic estate. Mrs Smith’s pregnancy meant that the drinking of all the whiskies was left to me, a further blunting to whatever competitive edge I had left. Fortunately, an emergency burger, administered at just the right time in the State Room Lounge, won me the final game that evening. Little did I know, it would be my only win of the weekend. 

The next day we met Eoin, our marvellous instructor in archery and clay-pigeon shooting. We began with the former and enjoyed taking it in turns to save ourselves from a stationary target, or as we saw it, ‘an advancing zombie’. Eoin seemed impressed with my shooting and for a fleeting moment I entertained a vision of moving to Scotland to train as his protégé, but by the time I came back to my senses, he was already shaking my hand and saying goodbye. An opportunity missed, but as he tried to escape us, we managed to fire one final question at him: ‘Where should we go walking in the area?’ This is how we discovered the Eildon Hills and what became one of the most remarkable parts of our stay at Schloss Roxburghe.

Following Eoin’s expert advice, we drove to a secluded spot from which to begin a trail that would lead us up to these three shapely hills and proud landmarks just south of Melrose. It was a burning hot day without a cloud in the sky. Bob's red coat shimmered like copper in the sunlight and the great landscape of Scotland yawned wide all around us, a spectacle of wild beauty. The heat of the day blazed fiercely and we decided that the tops of these hills would have to wait, and instead we would plumb the depths of the surrounding shaded, cooler woodland. Emerging from the trees, much refreshed, we sought out a spot to enjoy our picnic of delicious pork pies and sausage rolls bought from the hotel’s shop.

That night we had a lot to look forward to, for we would be dining in the hotel’s Sunlaws Restaurant, an experience intended to evoke the different seasons at Schloss Roxburghe; mist over the grounds in the early morning, the bite of a cold winter and the freshness of spring. We had a very chirpy waitress with us, who was training to be a vet and had a hobby looking after pet lambs. She was wonderful and bright and kept us well entertained throughout. The next day after a hearty breakfast with Bob in tow at the hotel’s brasserie, Charlie's Terrace, we managed to stockpile a little fruit and some materials for sandwiches — for alas, it was time to begin our long journey home, which included a final stop at Hadrian’s Wall and the now sadly empty Sycamore Gap.

Schloss Roxburghe is a beautiful, welcoming place to stay and the kind of hotel that manages to feel grand yet relaxed, elegant yet deeply personal. The staff are warm, the food excellent, the setting unforgettable and even the dog is treated like a valued guest. It’s the kind of holiday that lingers with you long after you’ve left and makes you wonder, as you drive away, when you’ll come back.