QT Melbourne

Upon exiting the Uber, it becomes clear that the QT Melbourne is a master of the first impression. It’s like stepping onto the set of Cirque du Soleil, but with way better outfits.

The staff all have been infused with something cheerful (in a non-creepy way). They combine the helpfulness of an eager retail assistant with the reassurance of a childhood friend you haven’t seen in years. Which is to say it works very well. Every single one of the QT’s team never fails to be chatty, warm and professional all at the same time.

The space itself is the stuff that industrial-aesthetic dreams are made of. Seriously, find me a tiny corner or piece of furniture that doesn’t fit. You won’t. The hotel has been painstakingly curated, and coherence flows from ground floor to rooftop. The colours artfully bleed into each other at every touchpoint – be it napkins in the restaurant or cushions at the bar, the whole place is pleasingly consistent.

But this definitely isn’t all cookie-cutter monochromes and the ‘seen that’ marble-chic that we’re used to: the whole place is littered with kinky little details that add personality and quirk. Don’t believe me? Look closely at the wallpaper in the dining room.

In terms of location, this place is it. Smack bang in the city, but the good bit of the city; the bit where you’re still crawling distance from everything you need, but when you look out the window from bed in the morning (and more on the beds later), you’re greeted by a canopy of grand leafy goodness. It’s mere footsteps from the boutique shops of Little Collins Street, countless Parisian-style alleyway eateries and just next door to a brewery (the winning trifecta in my city-stay book). And if you don't want to stray too far from the nest, the rooftop bar gives you sweeping views of the Melbourne skyline without the usual business crowd that such city-spying spots tend to draw. Instead, it’s a varied bunch: hipsters, models, parents… This bar manages to pull off seamless service and a killer Insta backdrop without pretension.

And also within the nest, you’ll find Pascale Bar & Grill, a Euro style bistro with a wine list worth staying in for. But beyond the liquid menu, the crispy profiteroles were the standout. Zesty and lemony, buttery and chocolatey, sweet and crispy and textured and creamy and toffee topped – they’re everything you could ever want from a dessert. I’ll stay again (and again) just for these alone.

So, anyway, yes, the beds… In terms of sleeping off the food coma, you’re in good hands. The beds are heavenly, made I assume with angel-wing feathers and with enough pillows to bring down a small ship (perfect for propping yourself up in the morning with a cup of tea or coffee from to the in-room machine). The room is extremely spacious; its high ceilings and windows bring about a unbelievable sense of calm and tranquility, especially amongst the hustle of the city. I want to live in this room and never leave, spending my time equally between the bed and the bath. Oh, yeah: the bath. Suffice to say, if I ever go missing this is where you’ll find me. I’m really fussy with baths; I crave an incredibly complex equation of curve, depth, size and slope. Somehow the bath in the QT King wins the gold medal in all of the above, and just general liveableness.

All in all, this hotel is an absolute winner for romantic escapes, work trips and pretty much any other kind of stay. We’ll definitely be back and, in the meantime, I’ll be trying to turn myself in a mermaid so that I really can live in that bath permanently…