Keemala

Camping to me is the opposite of relaxing. It seems to be a constant battle where conversation is mostly ‘What’s that noise?’ and ‘Why is it raining again?’, and basics like washing and cooking become Herculean tasks. I always finish a camping trip feeling twice as stressed than I was when it started. Which is precisely why I love hotels. Thing is, Mr Smith loves camping…

So it was with a happy heart that I found the perfect hotel for Mr Smith and I in Phuket. Keemala is a breathtakingly designed, completely unique hotel built around the concept of some make-believe Thai tribes. All the rooms have different styles: beautiful split level pods; clay cottages; bird's-nest villas and, yes, tent villas.  

In the name of diplomacy, then, and with my husband’s taste firmly in mind, I booked us a tent villa. Thankfully this happened to be much more villa than tent. We walked under our own veranda (with outdoor seating and table) into a stunning safari-chic suite with a huge double bed, dressing area, large desk, two showers, stone-carved bath, private pool and sunbathing area. It’s hard to do the design justice, but let’s just say this might become the year’s most Instagrammable hotel.

I’ve travelled an awful lot and stayed in arguably some of the world’s best hotels (I know, I know), but I found Keemala completely different and completely wonderful. To me it’s the small things that separate the good from the bad. Like the huge leather-chest minibar, say, which was stocked with fresh coffee, mixers and little jars of interesting snacks like Fuji plums and puffed rice crackers, and topped up daily with cookies, sweets, cakes and seasonal fruit.

There was also everything from herbal bath salts, to citronella mosquito spray to a beach bag for us to use during our stay. This is what a hotel should do: take away the responsibility; stop you worrying about anything.

But back to the design… The suites-only stay is interlinked with little roads and hills weaving in between very beautiful mature gardens, verdant forest, trickling streams and flowing waterfalls. (I later found out that this made the construction of the hotel take a very long time, as keeping the natural habitat was paramount to the Thai owners. Bravo them.)

Each private pool has so much character of its own, yet there is still a larger, deep, slate-blue pool at the base of the estate where you can lie on submerged bubbling ‘beds’, swim under a waterfall and watch the ducks float by in the surrounding pools and ponds.

As for entertainment, there is a comprehensive range of activities from yoga to market tours; meditation to boat trips. It’s a relaxed, healthy retreat, which is reflected in the food too.

I’m a very critical traveller when it comes to food and I think that hotels should always offer healthy fare and gluten-free options. Keemala has this nailed with some really exciting juices and menu choices (try the smoothie bowl – it’s stunning), even gluten-free pizzas.

The regular menu is a great combination of classics, upmarket Thai staples and some of the best Indian food I’ve had in years. Mr Smith, while nursing a Patong-induced hangover, even had a Chinese black chicken soup (Google it: the actual chicken is black through and through) and I got my dim sum for breakfast (heaven).

Later in our trip I met the chef and he showed me around the gardens that completely supply the hotel with herbs, salad leaves and mushrooms. They also have chickens, ducks, goats and two very beautiful water buffalo. I got the feeling that no request was too much trouble for the him and his team – something which is quite rare (I know how much work goes into the F&B side of hotels).

The breakfasts were some of the best I’ve seen, and everything seemed homemade with true passion. In the evenings they offer steaks and seafood cooked on pink Himalayan salt platters and killer cocktails – should you want a romantic dinner before sloping off to your private pool for a midnight swim.

There is really too much to mention is this little review, but one thing that can’t be ignored is the spa. I had a full Thai holistic treatment by senior therapist, Nok. This included massage, stretching and, at times, being tapped with a wooden stick. It might sound strange, but it left me feeling absurdly relaxed. Mr Smith who finds it very hard to sit still, especially in a luxury hotel, proclaimed one morning that ‘This is the most relaxed state I have ever been in’ and on our last day quietly said ‘Please don’t make me leave this hotel ever’. Praise indeed from the anti-hotel faction of our family.

So it was with a heavy – but very relaxed – heart that we left. Our flight was super early, so the chef sent us on our way with Keemala breakfast goodie bags with Buckwheat pancakes, smoothies, waffles, honey and salad laced with edible flowers. It was a perfectly magical finish to a perfectly magical stay. If only all camping was like this…