Mr & Mrs Smith

Say hello to the towering exotic cacti either side of the enormous thick wooden front doors as you enter this ‘Mexi-rocco’ finca. One of the largest villas in the Smith & Friends Ibiza collection, Los Patios boasts the impressive grounds and square footage of a boutique hotel – with the same exemplary level of luxury – yet with none of awkwardness of having to share with other random guests.

The scale of Los Patios does something strange as you step inside; it’s about four times bigger than you’d expect. A curved staircase grandly sweeps you down into this tardis – and through to an enormous hallway splashed with art, fine wire Moroccan mirrors and rich tapestries on ancient metre-thick walls. Stone floors are covered with bright, Aztec-inspired rugs and Moroccan lamps hang heavily from enormous wooden beams on neck-craningly high ceilings, while a dramatic marble table for 10, which would take an army to lift, sits proudly in the open-plan living/dining area.

Throw open the doors to let a cool Ibizan breeze float into the house and swirl through labyrinthine corridors to cool bedrooms down to levels you’ll be glad of when it’s time to head bedwards.
The living room opens out onto the lawns, from where you can enjoy stunning views of the sea, but there’s so much to occupy your eyes before then. Art is prolific, rich red and ochre floor cushions are scattered about, six-foot high Moroccan lamps adorn too many lounging areas to count and a sunken living room with a telescope miraculously appears out of nowhere.

A rich, textured feel weaves its way through the house; the owners have left no corner ungorgeoused. Bedrooms are cool, luxuriously romantic escapes; mosquito nets on beds create billowing four-poster effects in all rooms, while cool terracotta tiles and mosaic bathrooms are simple but super-sumptuous. There are so many places to hide, as well as cactus-filled courtyards to discover and chill-out terraces to happen upon; and it’s with a start that you stumble across the enormous pool and three-bedroom guesthouse surrounded by tall, shady trees behind the main house. One thing’s for sure – 15 people would not feel on top of each other here.

Opulent, but not overly done, ornate, but not OTT – the comfortable extravagance of this stylish vacation rental makes it the perfect stylish break for families or groups of friends seeking to experience the superstar side of Ibiza. Just watch you don’t stumble into those towering front-door cacti when returning from a long, late supper in Ibiza Town…

Reviewed by Charlotte Crisp