Carrington House

In the main house:

Bedroom 1: The bijou Ferrari-toned Red Room is rather special – it can either be a cosy twin, or ask them to fit the custom-built mattress and it becomes an eye-popping BED-room that is big enough in which to swing a cat, a dog, and a whole herd of larger animals, frankly.

Bedroom 2: Heck, the wallpaper panels in the Chinoiserie Room alone cost more than many hotels furnishings in their entirety. Understated, it ain’t. And this room can be made up as two twins or as one big bed for two. At least.

Bedroom 3: The Hollywood Room is a double-queen delight – as in the two large beds. The Fifties gold-and-pink flourishes are pure showbiz – all that's missing are effigies of Elton and David.

Bedroom 4: Black-and-white classic, the Versace Room, could be seen as the master suite; mind you, if it’s where you want to take your mistress, make sure those curtains are drawn. As you drive down Snettisham's high street, when illuminated at night, the view into this boudoir's windows rather steals the limelight.

Bedroom 5: Much like lots of Carrington House, village-view Green Room has a look to it that you’d expect to see in a stylised biopic of a Hollywood starlet’s house in the Fifties. But with boosted Technicolour.

In the adjoining cottage:

Bedroom 6: The black-and-white Terrace Room has its own – have you guessed yet? – yup, terrace. There's a quirky four-poster bed too.

Bedroom 7: The ornate-walled Balcony Room overlooks the garden.

Bedroom 8: The Cabin Room is fabulously intimate with its wood-panelling and cruise-ship cosiness. Who needs big windows when you have that freestanding bath to occupy the view?

There’s an additional cosy sitting room in the adjoining cottage. Don’t go having too many drinks though and think that patterned carpet is a Magic Eye artwork. Although we swear we saw a dolphin.