Top 10 hotels for swingers


Top 10 hotels for swingers


Sarah Jappy

BY Sarah Jappy15 August 2013

Ooh, you dirty little things! We don’t mean that, we mean this! Our friends over at Concrete Playground were feeling a bit ropey, so we went and wrote them a round-up of our top 10 hotels with swings. Here’s an abridged breakdown of the list below, for all you wannabe Tarzans and Janes. (There’s really no need to mention Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee Jones in this context; no need at all. Oops.)


What Contemporary Angkorian
Where Siem Reap’s tranquil French Quarter

You’ll be rethinking your kitchen chairs after a stay at Shinta Mani Angkor hotel, whose streetside Kroya restaurant boasts dreamy swings on a breezy terrace. The idea of swings+food might sound messy, but you’ll soon get the hang of things (sorry), plus the gorgeous Cambodian options on offer will make practice a pleasure rather than a chore (perhaps only the steady-handed should order crab bouillabaisse)…


What Playful den for modern lovers
Where Centralissimo Milan

The swinging scene at The Gray hotel revolves around the lobby, where a giant fuchsia-upholstered swing with lipstick-red cords drops from the ceiling: a memorable first impression, regardless of whether you’re bold enough to go and sit on it (please do; it’s mighty comfy). If you take the swing as a promise of the unexpected, you won’t be let down: rooms have ivory-silk curtains which whoosh open at the touch of a button; there are Jacuzzis in bathrooms and Kill Bill: Vol. 1 on the in-room playlist; the restaurant has black-velvet chairs, grass-topped tables and spoons and forks suspended from light fittings…


What Romantic beach retreat
Where Reef-fringed Veligandu Huraa

Why doesn’t every hotel have beach hammocks and in-room swing chairs? Naladhu hotel, set between a lagoon and the sea, boasts both. That’s not all it has, either: each of the 19 intimate beach houses comes with its own private pool, romantic semi-outdoor glass-sided bath (for cheeky views) and shower – don’t be surprised if you never make it to the main pool, flanked by inviting sun loungers and overlooking the lagoon…


What Grand guesthouse
Where Tempting Tuscan patch

To get into the swing of things at Fontelunga Hotel, you’ll have to wander through gorgeous gardens; gosh, life’s hard. The swing is more of a hanging bench, to be fair, with sweeping views of the manicured lawn and flowering pot plants. It’s a lovely perch, only worth hopping off for the hotel’s other lures: stately beds with oversized damasked headboards; modern Starck and Jacobsen furniture; terracotta-tiled floors and a sun-warmed saltwater outdoor pool amid the olive groves…


What Sky-skimming treehouses
Amid the burly banyans

If you’re feeling strong of arm and want to play Tarzan, you could swing from the thickly knotted vines that cling to Kanopi House hotel’s banyan trees, while wannabe Janes watch admiringly from the window. The hotel’s tropical treehouses are cushioned, carpeted and curtained with greenery and come with equally green credentials: all the wood is sustainable, no trees were felled during construction and local craftsmen and artists contributed to the design…


What Riffing on ruins
Where Beachfront Boca Paila, Riviera Maya

Oh, Coqui Coqui Tulum hotel, what we wouldn’t give to be lying in one of your hand-woven hammocks right now, with the jungle and sea beckoning before us, and a chilled (and alcoholic) coconut concoction beside us. This hotel has a male supermodel by the name of Nicolas Malleville for an owner, and his good looks have rubbed off: rooms come with white-linen-clad four-posters surveying the sea; bathrooms feature hand-molded bath tubs and sexy saltwater showers (so keep your mouth clamped shut when showering or you’ll get a glug of seawater)…


What Scenester’s summer camp
Where Hip Hamptons woods

Pretend you’re starring in a Wes Anderson flick at witty, whimsical Ruschmeyer’s hotel, centred around a fictional voyager – Commodore Captain Ruschmeyer III. This grown-up, summer camp-style boutique hotel is his would-be home: part estate, part explorer’s clubhouse, part film set (don’t worry about heavy-handed kitsch; it’s all achieved with nifty aplomb). Montauk attracts a cool crowd of hippies, hipsters and surfers, all of whom should have a soft spot for the retro art of swinging. They won’t be disappointed at Ruschmeyer’s: rooms feature suspended macramé swinging chairs…


What Faraway island fantasy
Where The bluest lagoon

Just the words ‘cocoa island’ make us want to be lying horizontal in sunshine, rocking gently in a hammock with a sea breeze on our newly tanned skin. Better book a trip to Como Cocoa Island hotel, then, whose irreproachably beautiful beach features milk-white swinging chairs, perfect for holidaying lovebirds. To make getting out of your chair even harder, you can order food to the beach – Ufaa restaurant offers a daily-changing menu of fresh-from-the-sea, plucked-from-the-branch goodness, Malabar Coast and Thai-style dishes, as well as a raw-food spa menu…


Breezy seaside retreat
Where Blissful Baa Atoll

As if having your own private pool overlooking piercing-blue seas wasn’t treat enough, Anantara Kihavah Villas hotel has thrown poolside swings into the mix, so you can rock back and forth chanting ‘I’m swinging in the best place in the world’, then go for a smug little paddle to cool down. This is a hotel that doesn’t stint on highlights: spacious, ultra-luxe villas with ocean-goggling beds; palm-dotted sands; pandering butlers – you get the gist. Did we mention the underwater wine cellar, the six-suite overwater spa and one of the Maldives’ longest pools?


What Eco-luxe hideaway
Where Graceful Gaya Island, Sabah

At Gayana Eco Resort, you can take swinging to whole new heights: this eco-luxe hideaway has jungle paths with a canopy walk and zip-line, so you can whoosh through the trees like an over-caffeinated monkey. For calmer moments, there’s also an excellent spa with horizon-view rooms, and a selection of Asian and western massages, scrubs, facial and beauty treatments…

Did we whet your wanderlust? Check out all our Smith-picked romantic retreats or browse our honeymoon hotels.