Mr & Mrs Smith

Every person should stay on a farm at some point in their life. Wellies, pigs; piping-hot tea and cake by a crackling fire or in a sun-soaked field… As long as there’s a firm streak of first-class luxury threading the whole experience together, surely there’s nowt quite so romantic as a rural retreat? Frankly, the prospect of wading through cowpats to a converted outhouse full of pine furniture and brown 1970s mugs has been enough to put most of us off in the past. But Court Farm is something really rather special.

‘Beyond luxurious’ is a phrase that springs to mind as you step inside the Cottage or wind up the old stairs to the Attic Suite at Somerset’s most stylish self-catering stay. A pristine, high-design space, remoulded and brought lovingly into the 21st century, this lavish escape reflects the interior-design passion of owners Helene and James. The Cottage, a converted set of horse stables, sleeps four in two large double rooms. The Attic Suite, a spacious, wooden-beamed affair tucked away in the rafters of the farmhouse, sleeps two – with the option to reconfigure the living room as a further double bedroom, should you want to bring gooseberries along. The Cottage and Attic Suite can be rented together, or separately, depending on your numbers.

The farmhouse, dating from 1580, lies at the nucleus of Court Farm, which sits in rolling countryside just outside of Frome (pronounced ‘Froom’). A barn was added in the 1800s, then some stables (which now form the Cottage) later in the century. Now, freshly renovated and huddled around an irresistible inner courtyard, the properties exude a sense of stylish seclusion straight out of the pages of an interiors magazine.

Inside the Cottage, a modern medley of under-heated quarried Blue Lias floors (in which you can spot shells), wood-burning stove and Bang & Olufsen TV system tick all the super-luxurious boxes. Meanwhile, great, thick exposed beams, baskets of logs and wall alcoves (where stable hands used to place their oil lamps, safely away from the hay) are a gentle reminder of your agricultural surroundings.

Past the gleaming, white kitchen, spotlit spiral French oak stairs wind up to two en-suite double bedrooms. The master bedroom is an eccentric boudoir with en-suite bathroom that has a wooden slide leading from the ceiling to the bed (we hear it hasn’t been road-tested yet) and a bath featuring taps that rise out of the floor. The second bedroom – the mistress bedroom, if you like – is across a glassy walkway, and has a tiny window above the bed, a rocking chair and a delicious bathroom in muted sand colours, where exposed beams fly over you. Both bedrooms are serene, TV-free zones, relying instead on big, sumptuous throws, bathrobe lounging and Cowshed toiletries to soothe your senses.

Opening onto the sunny courtyard, the Cottage connects to the freshly renovated barn, which can be hired separately for special-occasion suppers, spa treatments or even for wedding receptions that spill out onto the lawn. A neck-craning, high-vaulted ceiling yawns over three sofas, a dining table for 12 and a hanging Perspex bubble chair that looks suspiciously as though it’s been taken from Babington House… Take a look at the floor-to-ceiling pink silk curtains. While the stressed-out City boy hides behind an austere suit, revealing his personality through a flash of colourful lining inside his jacket, these curtains do the exact opposite – blaring brightness across the barn in order to sing and shout about the owners’ characters.

And to the Attic Suite. The perfect hideaway for two (or to mop up an overflow from the Cottage), this offers an altogether more rustic experience, but one still soaked in pristine, modern luxury. Entering through the side entrance of the farmhouse, you climb rough, old, oak stairs to your private suite, which consists of a huge double bedroom, bathroom and living room. There is no kitchen up here, but Helene and James will rustle up the breakfast for you in the Aga-warmed farmhouse kitchen, or even the occasional supper if you wish.

An enormous ‘bed station’ dominates the master bedroom, and exposed beams that seem to positively invite swinging stretch across, above and all around you. Don a dressing gown and pad through latched doors to a room that’s more like a spa treatment room than a bathroom. It’s a cavernous space of beams, aubergine walls and an evil freestanding tub – once it lures you into its soapy clutches, it traps you and forbids you from ever leaving.

If you’re travelling with little ones or friends, it’s good to note that, although the Attic Suite is designed for two, the blissful living room (complete with feature fireplace, cosy blankets draped on a battered leather sofa and a guitar propped in the corner) can be easily converted into a second double or twin bedroom.

Remarkable in its stylish seclusion – you are tucked away on the Somerset/Wiltshire borders, remember – Court Farm is still only a 20-minute drive from Bath. Being so close to Glastonbury, Stonehenge and Avebury also somehow suggests, as James puts it, that ‘this is the kind of place where wizards would live’.

With not a cowpat (there are no cows) or brown 1970s mug in sight, Court Farm is a tranquil space of laid-back and luxurious loveliness. Smith tip: head there in May. It’s awash with buttercups. And, if you’re very lucky, Helene and James might even send you on your way home afterwards with some farm eggs and a piece of carrot cake…

Review by Charlotte Crisp