Review

Usually, the phrase ‘perfect for hen weekends’ conjures up all sorts of terrifyingly naff cowboy hats and strippers connotations, unbefitting a house of any real stylish worth. Burggraaf is the exception to this rule. This is the ultimate hen-party escape, without a trace of feather boas or L-plate chic in sight. Glamorous and goosebump-inducingly gorgeous, this is the kind of barn where magazine shoots should be held. Pristinely perfect and with an unlived-in sense that makes you feel as though you’re the first guests to deflower it, Burggraaf would be as ideal for a family escape or country break with friends as it would be for a brood of stylish hens.

An 18th-century barn conversion on Dorset’s Axnoller Farm, this seclusion-with-splendour retreat sleeps 12 and boasts a private swimming pool. There’s no need for shoes during your stay. Accessed by a frosted door to the side of the living room, the indoor pool is under the very roof of your barn – meaning no trudging trips across farmland in a bathrobe and wellies in order to take a morning dip. Cool, cream floors unravel around the pool, as twinkling, blue fibre-optic lights in the ceiling lure you in for lazy midnight swims.

Blue halogen courtyard spotlights illuminate your way into this high-vaulted haven – where you’ll find a huge, open-plan living room, kitchen and dining room. It’s a serene cream scene, but punctuated with bursts of kingfisher-blue, fuchsia and coral colours. You know there’s a cedar hot tub bubbling away somewhere, but distractions aplenty mean you may not happen upon it for some time…

Vivid-blue mock flock wall designs, hand-painted by Adrian Everitt, climb dramatically up the enormous centrepiece of the room: a remote-controlled ribbon fireplace that makes the space winter-perfect, too. Further cyan and azure blues continue the colour splash theme; deep brown and taupe sofas are softened by the addition of turquoise and fuchsia silk cushions, as further coral and lime hues fuse with the muted tones of the kitchen and dining area. Nearby, huge stone-based lamps with bubblegum-pink shades throw soft light out across polished cream concrete floors.

Pure style genius, this colour-soaked space undulates with faded finds from faraway places – such as the pair of stone goats under the console table and the wooden horse head by the front door. Everything in here is on a large scale: the cinema-huge TV, the lamps, the statues… even the vast white kitchen that’s so pristine it’s surely never been used? A relaxed environment that suits self-catering sophisticates as perfectly as groups of families with children – this barn was made for extravagance and entertaining.

Throw the glass barn doors open wide onto the immaculate landscaped courtyard, but don’t forget your lawn, where you’ll find an outdoor dining table for 12, gas barbecue and cedar hot tub. More than 12 in your party? Hire sister barn Voltaire: it sleeps a further 12 and enjoys its own pool, meaning you still won’t have to share yours… The dining area of Burggraaf can host up to 24 guests when both barns are hired together.

Explore Burggraaf’s six en-suite bedrooms and marshmallow-soft kingsizers, swathed in lost-count-of-the-threads Egyptian bed linen, Andrew Martin fabrics and jewel-fringed silk cushions. Further hand-painted, flock-style motifs colour code the rooms – ranging from magentas to soft blues – while art deco dressing tables teem with plasma screens, suede chairs and sumptuous throws.

It’s difficult to single out one of the bedrooms as the master; they are all mistresses in their own right. But the bedroom by the pool maybe just edges it, as it’s mere padding distance from the warm waters of the pool. All are similar in size and styling, however, and all meet the same exacting standards. Pristine, boutique-hotel-style bathrooms, punctuated with Aromatherapy Associates goodies, are limestone cubes of deep tubs, cubist taps and fluffy bathrobes. This is about as far away from self-catering as it gets.

‘Party house’, ‘barn spa’, ‘farmland hideaway’… Whatever you want to call it, Burggraaf is the sort of immaculate barn that’s ideal for a weekend, week or two-week stay. So pack a swimsuit, wellies and some sunglasses, step inside and settle down to the clotted-cream tea that awaits your arrival. But, for those wishing to ever leave again, may we just wish you good luck – because, believe us, it’s not easy.

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