Each player should be suitably well clad before the game begins; a level playing field is only fair.

The dealer shuffles up a complete deck of cards. Each player puts in the ante (see poker betting, below), and is dealt five cards face down. Next it’s a clockwise round of betting. Each player then has the option to discard up to three cards and have them replaced with fresh cards from the top of the pack. There is another round of betting before the hands are revealed; the highest hand wins the pot (see below) and the lowest hand takes off an item of clothing before the game continues. The game continues in this fashion until one or all players are entirely naked, depending on the exact circumstances, and motives for playing in the first place…

Poker betting

A friendly game would usually have an ante of 5p, 10p or 20p. The money is put in the centre of the table and is called the pot. You have three choices when the betting gets to you: Call – betting enough to match what has been bet since the last time you bet, for example: if you bet 20p and somebody then bid 30p, you would owe 10p. If you call, you put that 10p into the pot and stay in the hand. Raise – let’s say the initial bet is 20p: you’d match that, and then add the sum you wish to raise by. Now the other players will either call, raise, or fold. The round continues until everybody has called or folded on a bet. Fold – dropping out of the current hand: you only lose what you have put in the pot up to the point of folding. And remember: you lose, you strip.

Poker hands

Straight flush A straight (five cards in order, such as 7-8-9-10-J), all of the same suit. Aces can be high or low. An ace-high straight flush is called a Royal Flush and is the highest natural hand. Four of a kind Four cards of the same rank, eg: four aces or four kings. If two or more hands qualify, the hand with the highest-rank four wins.

Full house
A full house is a three of a kind and a pair, such as K-K-K-2-2. When there are two full houses, the tie is broken by the higher-ranking three of a kind.

Flush
A hand in which all the cards are the same suit, such as 5-7-9-J-Q, all of diamonds. When there are two or more flushes, the flush containing the highest card wins.

Straight
Five cards in rank order, for example:
A-2-3-4-5, but not of the same suit. Aces can be high or low. When there are two straights, the highest straight wins. If two straights have the same value, the pot is split.

Three of a kind
Three cards of any rank, with the remaining cards not a pair. As with the full house, the highest-ranking three of a kind wins.

Two pair
Two distinct pairs and a fifth card. The higher-ranking pair wins ties. If both hands have the same high pair, the second pair wins. If both hands have the same pairs, the high card (see below) wins.

Pair
One pair, with three other cards. The highest-ranking pair wins. High card breaks ties. High card When no player has even a pair, it comes down to who is holding the highest-ranking card. If there is a tie for the high card, the next high card determines the pot.